So last night was eventful enough to make me feel the need to update. As some of you know, I've recently started dating a guy that I refer to as 'New Tony'. He's a 25 yr old PhD student in the History and Philosophy of Education. In undergrad, he was a philosohpy major, student body pres, and involved in both the debate team and College Dems (at a Southern Baptist school, no less). And he looks a little like Elijah Wood, but taller. He's not fully Jewish, but his dad's family is Jewish and he's looking to get back into the religion, esp. Reform. He thinks I'm the smartest undergrad he's met at IU, which is a great compliment to me cuz this guy is a true smarty pants - like Kevin and David smart. I really like him, and I feel comfortable with him so far. He's well read, watches Aqua Teen and waited in line at midnight for the newest Harry Potter book. We've had 4 dates in 2 weeks, and have another one planned for Sunday. And he has a cute dog.

And now for the reason for the post. We had a long IM conversation last night that started with him asking me if I wanted to keep dating once I moved back home. He also said that, while he was already looking at becoming a professor at a Southern school, dating me has made him look more closely at Atlanta schools like Emory, Oglethorpe, and Georgia State. I told him that I was a little skiddish about jumping into relationships since I've done a lot of that in the past, and it has a tendency to not end well. I told him about Other Bad Tony (OBT from now on), and how that's affected me in the past year or so. So I have a couple of weeks to figure out what I feel for this guy.

Oddly, the first thought that crossed my mind was its too soon to be jumping back into a relationship again. But I broke up with OBT over a year ago. I don't know why I feel this way, and it pisses me off that what I went through with him is making me doubt a guy that's so quality. I am seriously scared that he'll be a smart version of Don, who put me on such a high pedestal that I think he was in love with an idealized version of me and not actually in love with me. At the same time, he told me that he came to IU because he was in love with somoene, and they broke up pretty soon after, which to me indicates that he's impulsive. He said that his worst relationship flaw is that he loves too much, which sent up some minor red flags, while at the same time sounding very sweet.

I've made so many mistakes in the past when it comes to relationships, but should I be so scared that I would pass up a good one in fear that I'll screw it up? How do I figure out in such a short period of time if this is the type of guy that I could go to when I'm upset and have him know how to comfort me? Anyway, the only people who read this journal are the ones that have seen me through these other relationships, and I wanted to see what y'all had to say about it, not because I want you to make up my mind for me, but because I value your input and advice.


ramirezr3: being in the school of ed I was so down on IU undergrads
ramirezr3: then I met you and was amazed how smart you are